Fun Facts about me:
- I wore a ginormous green bow for most of my childhood
- My favorite ice-cream is Pistachio
- I grew up on Long Island
- I’ve moved 10 times in my life
- I am fascinated by all things spiritual- meditation, yoga, crystals, tarot cards, rituals
- Quotes are life
- Actually, cheese is life
- I laugh at a lot of stuff
- Sports are my jam. I’m super competitive!
- San Diego is my favorite place to be
- Big horror movie buff [but I have nightmares, ahh]
- The ocean inspires me
- I want all the puppies
Here’s my story…
Stuck in the Ditch
We’ve all been there – and man, have I ever been there. Stuck.
I’d been working on growing my business for years, but at one point I just got stuck in that ditch on the side of my road. I was completely overwhelmed by everything going on in my business and my life. Every little thing was a frustration. I couldn’t make a decision if you paid me. I could feel the specter of failure looming, and I just didn’t know where to turn.
What was my “Stuck in the Ditch” era like?
This era lasted most of my life- living unaware, unconscious but comfortable.
For a while I didn’t even realize I was in a ditch. Then It became clear that something was up. This turned into a battle within myself because I chose to avoid and not confront what was going on within me.
It’s you against yourself in this world and was I ever in an epic battle with myself. My daily thought processes and internal negative chatter of not being enough was grueling.
I became aware of how negative and critical I was towards myself.
My internal [negative] dialogue haunted every decision I made.
I suffered because I didn’t accept myself.
I didn’t accept that I wasn’t further along in my business. I didn’t accept that I had to let go of certain people. I didn’t accept that I could eat this meal without having to work really hard at burning it off. I didn’t accept that I had cellulite or saw my fine lines coming in. I didn’t accept that I had to slow down to feel better. My life was about shoving the bad stuff down while trying to focus on the good.
Suppressing and avoiding just doesn’t work. I learned that quickly when I was alone with myself and my thoughts.
I was able to confront a lot when I was alone. I had moved from the only place I’d known for all my life (all 27 years at the time) and moved to what I thought would be a temporary stay. I didn’t know then but it turned out to be a magical new beginning. I re-discovered myself in my new location but I really re-discovered myself when I got over my fear of being alone.
I was alone in a new place, trying to figure out my path. I had ended a 7 year relationship a year prior. All emotion that was spent up for all those years made it known. It didn’t stop there.
From my parents divorce, to separation/anxiety issues, co-dependnecy, the tragic loss of my best friend, failed relationships, fears, limiting beliefs (not feeling like I’m enough or deserving), past business let downs health issues such as exhaustion, kidney stones, infections that landed me in the E.R many times…
It. Got. Messy.
It hurts, a lot. I ached physically and mentally. I was my own worst enemy because I had the mentality of “aint nobody got time for this”. I lived most of my life becoming an expert at suppressing my emotion and now, I have to deal with it? It became evident that the life I lived for so long was no longer for me. The people, the habits, the atmosphere no longer fulfilled me and it constantly pulled me a different way until I listened.
I woke up depressed and stressed, unable to shift my mood. I was unable to figure out what I needed most or what the next best move was. All I knew ever knew was to take action, to do, do, do. That made things worse. I wasn’t familiar with sadness or anger and so, I had no ideas on how to deal with it. I just tried to carry out my normal day to day tasks, but those menial tasks grew tougher and tougher to complete.
Focus was at a minimum and energy at an all time low. For the people closest to me who knew what I was going through, I apologized for putting this burden on them [me]. I apologized for feeling.
Sitting pretty in the “I don’t know’s”
I had to sit in the thick of my “I don’t know’s” for a very long time. It seemed like an “I don’t know” torture chamber. I was desperate for answers and desperate to feel anything but the sadness and anger. On the surface this manifested as daily anxiety.
This was so unfamiliar since I was always the rock for other people. It never felt right to unload on anyone. I didn’t really have any outlets by myself to vent and do some major self-care work because for me it was all about avoiding.
Thoughts and feelings came up that I didn’t know how to make sense of and I had to find peace in knowing that it doesn’t have to make sense.
The drained emotional energy felt like hell, but it was also a gift. It gave me the gift of clarity. My emotions showed me that I wasn’t living authentically. It was then that I got to figure out who I was again.
I learned the hard way that you cannot change what you aren’t willing to confront, and well, I was conditioned to not confront any emotion, at extreme expert level. I thought I was [controlling] my emotions but turns out, they were very much so controlling me. NOTHING worked until I went within and confronted my inner stuff:
During that time of my life, I diagnosed myself with having “I’m Fine” syndrome. I told myself and everyone around me “I’m fine, I’m fine!” That blew up in my face big time, many times.
I decided to dig deep. I went within the trenches of myself- turned out [no surprise] my inner critic was a real bitch- unbearably controlling and a perfectionist. Nothing was ever good enough for her.
Love Yourself First
I had to embark on a major journey of self-love and acceptance.
I decided to be brave and stand up for the life I wanted. I worked with patience and intentional action to gain the clarity I needed. It was all about strengthening my connection within. I knew it was only then that I’d be able to believe that I can actually have anything that I desired.
Almost got it…
I decided to meet myself where I was at in each moment every single day and accept myself there NO MATTER WHAT. I saw the bigger picture, I knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be but this lady is no fan of patience. I didn’t take into consideration the steps that were going to get me there. I didn’t want to play the point by point strategy to win this game. I wanted it all right then and there. Throw the flag!
In this game of life, you only lose if you try to win all at once. Another huge and valuable lesson on my journey. It’s a bittersweet ride and it’s a sweeter one when you have yourself as a best friend along for the ride.
I’ve learned that life is about finding the sweet spot between doing and being- By taking intentional action and by being graciously patient.
My emotional and physical struggles led me on an inward journey to explore, befriend and accept myself in each moment of my life. I don’t regret a thing.
I consider that time of my life survival mode.
The moment I felt back in balance, I was ready for it all [but not all at once!]. I have a huge vision that I’m so excited to share.
I became fascinated by how our bodies and minds work together and the role of The Law of Attraction plays to create our life experience. I’ve studied under many health and wellness gurus but some of my favorites include Deepak Chopra, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer.
I believe that we create our experience with each thought and feeling we offer out into the universe and it’s our job to manage that. A couple of ways this is possible is through meditation and visualization that have helped my life shift in dramatic ways.
I am here on a mission to help support you in accepting all that you are because that is exactly where your power lies. Creativity, fun, adventure, intentional action and planning are a small glimpse into my spin at how to live a happy and successful life.
Your greatest strength is to know yourself because when you do, you can not only serve yourself but others with all of your magical gifts. When you find yourself [and you lose yourself and find yourself many times throughout life], you WILL find your purpose.
I was just about ready to give up completely when I was at my rock bottom. I had a realization that changed my life – my legacy was in my hands, nobody else’s. I had to choose every single day to live the life that I wanted and then do it, wholeheartedly and in harmony with myself. I had to decide to face the fear that kept me stuck for a very long time, and then let it go.
It took an incredible amount of soul searching and hard work, but only realizing that change in one aspect of life had an effect on everything and I needed to work on both sides at the same time, which made all the difference to me.
Wanting something is not enough. You must believe in whatever it is that you want before it comes true. You must see and feel it before it comes true. You must think and act as if you already have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. THAT is the most powerful skill you can have.
Your emotions are what guides your life.
You can become the master creator of your life.
Something else I realized was, I have a passion for helping other women make choices for their own lives, their own businesses, and their mission in life that are going to bring them joy and success. I didn’t just want to help them market their businesses well, or give them life coaching, or give them health coaching… I wanted to give them – you – holistic, empowering help in all aspects of their lives and businesses.
There’s a wealth of information out there about how to make your business successful – tricks and tips, magic bullets that turn you into a marketing genius and promise to boost your order book. But none of them mention the other side of the coin – your life outside of work.
There are just as many tricks and tips to turning your life around, making everything sunshine and roses, enjoying the “important” things in life. But many of them tell you it’s more important to set your spirit free than it is to make a living.
But why should there be a line dividing them?
Why can’t you have both?
We all have to work to make our businesses successful but we also all have to work on making our personal lives enjoyable and real. Business growth and personal growth go hand-in-hand, but growth doesn’t just happen. It’s something you need to work on every day and pursue. To grow a successful business and enjoy a fruitful life, you need to build yourself up.
In a world that is so externally focused, being still is a foreign concept, but so necessary. If we don’t stop, and stop often, it will be forced upon us by exhaustion, stress, and sickness. We can’t “do” and “go” forever; our internal tank needs refueling too. Most of the time we do things out of habit or what society deems socially acceptable. When we do that, we’re ignorant to ourselves and what our true essence is trying to reveal to us. Success in its purest form is peeling away everything that isn’t truly you.
Your greatest strength in life is to know and honor yourself, who you truly are at your core. Understanding yourself and the wisdom you hold is a force and massive advantage not many hold. We choose to see what we want out of fear and comfort. We choose to make ourselves small, and there’s just no time for that. Especially not for someone like you.
Let’s face it, we are spoiled. We think of doing or wanting something, and it seems we get it almost instantaneously. But in reality, your life and your business are always growing, and what you decide to grow and birth is in your control – but it doesn’t happen overnight! Patience is the name of the game and emotions are the wild pitches that you have to try and control.
Holistic Empowerment, Creative Marketing
For over a decade, I’ve been working as a Holistic Empowerment and Creative Marketing coach and strategist, supporting practical and soulful entrepreneurs on their journeys.
Connecting With Your Universe
You are not just a body, and not just a soul – you are both, and you can live fearlessly, connected to every moment. You can thrive, your business can thrive, and you can pass on the gift of joy to others.
Working together, we will uncover the key to mastering your own energy and drawing from the energy of the Universe, and finding the balance between your practical, goal-setting self, and your soulful, mindful, connected self to move through life with confidence and joy.